The Tai Chi & Meditation Centre’s specialty and emphasis is the practical integration of mind-body (together with emotion, Spirit etc).

As a teacher and student of the internal martial arts, I've noticed a common theme occurring over the years.

Partnered work is a necessary part of martial practice, not only as a way of testing your skills and gaining an understanding of application, but more importantly, as a methodology for dealing with relationships overall.

Occasionally, there are interactions between class participants that stir up conflict, on a verbal or non-verbal energetic level that require a much deeper introspection than our first response. One such example is when one of the participants utilizes their skills to undermine the other.

As my teacher has cautioned, this behaviour can stop you from truly learning – not only about the internal martial arts but about the deeper meanings of life itself. Some of the great Tai Chi masters (and fighters) talk about “investing in loss”… meaning learning from mistakes and not necessarily having to “win” all the time.

We set out to have a look at this and obtained feedback from some students and teachers.

What I'm hearing and sensing from some everyone, as well as my own experience teaching, is that people want a way to move forward in their practice. While I understand that continual practice of the basics is what makes one a master of them, it seems that we do yearn to feel like we have made some progress, which in our society, means we move onto "better", more complex techniques or forms. This is our reward. So if we are in a class with beginners, and doing the same thing as they are, perhaps the question is: What sets us apart, and how do we know when we are proficient? Or are we ever?

When we practice with a partner, we test our skills, and after several years of study, we think we have learned a thing or two, which of course we have. However, when we can't perform a simple application, or respond correctly to a situation, what happens then? Ego really takes a hit.

Speaking from my own experience, when it happens to me, I tend to blame myself for my incompetence first, and then wonder what I’ve been doing all these years. I then let that negative dialogue go and move on, work harder etc.

Meditation can answer these questions, but not every one wants or is able to do that. So many just get frustrated and leave. They look for something else to fulfill their needs; whatever they came to us for in the first place.

For me personally, meditation has given me the skill to create a space to look at the situation at hand. I can go beyond the first responses, as I know they are the conditioned ones, and look beyond them to what is really going on inside. The real skill we are learning here, the real gem unto which we are stumbling, is how to deal with the toughest opponent of all, our ego.

Letting go of our learned defence mechanisms and moving toward trust and communication is not easily done in the midst of confrontation. What is happening at a deeper level is more profound and with the awareness developed through integrated mind-body skills, we can see and deal with the demons that jump right out in front of us. Indeed, they are there in all our relationships, begging for attention. What we are aiming for is to embody yin-yang principles in all aspects of our lives at all levels...which is quite a tall order!

Relaxing, letting go, and mindfulness (staying with the present) allow practitioners to more easily see that what we teach in Taiji on the gross, physical sphere also applies to the mental/emotional spheres. These skills are honed over time and sustained effort. This is the essence of Gong Fu.

I would like to thank everyone for their input. Our deepest challenges and difficulties are lessons for everyone to learn from.

Shifu Donna Oliver